Sunday, August 23, 2015

This morning I got up with Harper.  I believe that she slept a little later than usual, maybe until 7:30 a.m., but I don’t remember for sure.  I decided to let Abby sleep in this morning.  For breakfast, I gave Harper some corn flakes, cheerios, and dried cranberries.  I meant to make her some eggs for protein when I made mine, but I never made it to making mine.  I worked on washing some dishes we had left in the sink from the previous day and then when Abby got up I got my shower. I never made it to eating breakfast.

Abby was a little under the weather today, but I got the privilege of taking Harper with me to church at Zion UCC for the first time.  She did very well out there.  At first she was looking around at all of the lights and out the windows.  Then she noticed the people, or actually they were noticing her!  The first 30 minutes went well, as long as I kept her occupied.  The last 15-20 minutes were a little rough as it was moving into her normal nap time that she’d have during the week.  I took her to the back for a few minutes at the end of Rev. Faires’s (better known as Bob) sermon, then, as soon as the sermon ended, came back in for the offering and closing hymn.  Afterwards, some of the people said she was a good baby and one woman who I love, Alberta, said that it was so good to hear the sound of a baby in church!  That makes me feel like it’ll be ok for us to bring her back in the future.

I’ve known that congregation for ten years now, and have always hoped to see the congregation continue to survive, and hopefully even grow and thrive.  It seems like although the congregation has lost a few members and regular attendees either to relocation, death, or poor health, a few new faces have also arrived over the years.  Including the preacher, organist, Harper, and myself, I believe I counted 16 there today.

As we were walking out of the church building and to the car, I let Harper walk down the sidewalk on her own.  There was a breeze and she noticed a tree with low-hanging limbs.  She reached out as if she was trying to grab the tree or feel the air.  It was an amazing, truly beautiful sight watching her enjoy nature.  If she had been an inch or two taller and standing in the right place, she would have been able to touch one of the low hanging limbs.

Harper fell asleep on the way home, so I got her back to the house.  I talked to Abby for a moment and went to Price Cutter to pick up some bread, cheese, deli meat, pickles, and canned soup I could take to work for lunches this week.  I also bought some milk, Guy’s BBQ potato chips, and my first bag of apples this fall from Peters Orchard in Lafayette County, MO, the county of my childhood and youth!

I came home and ate some sandwiches with Abby.  I was getting really sleepy and almost could have taken a nap while I halfway watched episodes of Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie.  When Harper woke up, we decided to go outside and work on cleaning Abby’s car.  Once she got the stuff out that she’s been storing in the back seat, we went to her parents’ to vacuum the car.  I also ate supper while I was there, which was their dinner leftovers, so I wouldn’t have to eat later.  We also had to go to Walmart for Abby to get some food for her to take the Harper’s babysitter for this week.  I ran into O’Reilly Auto Parts to get some sprays that I had run out of to clean the vehicles with.  When we got home, I cleaned her windows really well.  I use Rain-X cleaner on the outside windows, which once saved me driving to Licking, MO in my 72 Chevy C10 when my wipers died, and some special anti-fog Rain-X wipes on the inside.  I also cleaned her dash.  It was getting towards dark, so I wrapped up my job for the day.  I plan to clean the leather and wash the outside of the car another day when the weather is nice.  I also want to clean up my 72 Chevy pickup.

I went inside.  Abby had been wanting to go to her brother and sister-in-law’s house so they could take apart and clean their baby/toddler car seats together, so she got Harper ready for bed and I got to spend some time with Harper.  I called my sister and talked to her for a while, then rocked Harper to sleep by 9.  Harper was very peaceful, unusually peaceful, while going to sleep tonight.  Abby got home later than she wanted to and here I am, now updating my blog for the first time in seven months.

Options

As I have posted before, my wife wants to move to Mt. Vernon.  We looked at some places in Springfield last week, but that didn’t go over well with Abby.  She says it’s just too busy, that she’d never feel at home, and that it’s no place to raise a child, especially in the places that we can afford.

If we were to live in Mt. Vernon, I’d like to keep my job in El Dorado Springs.  That’s an hour and fifteen minute drive though. That would turn into 2 1/2 hours on the road per workday.  Plus, part of why she wants to move is to get me away from my job.  Even when I’m scheduled for a  normal five-day workweek, someone often calls in or leaves early, and the work falls back on me.  Then, I arrive home to an upset wife.

From Mt. Vernon to Springfield is about a forty minute drive to the east and Joplin is the same amount to the west.  There are options there, but I’m not sure if I want any of those options.  I’m not really ready to think about this yet.  There are retail options.  There are call center options.  I’m sure there are job in fields that I’ve never even considered before.  I often look at jobs at Drury University, and they’re searching for a full-time groundskeeper.  I’d be willing to do that, if the pay was right, just to be back on campus.

There’s also an Orscheln Farm & Home store opening in Mt. Vernon this year.  Perhaps that is another opportunity, if they’d let me come back on, finish their manager trainee program, and manage that store.

Can I just stay here, keep my job, and keep our lower rent?

What will 2015 bring?

I’m not sure where we’re headed in 2015.

I love living in El Dorado Springs.  For some reason, I feel more at peace than any other time in my life.  I’ve always liked visiting this town and it seemed natural to make it my home.  I love the different views you get driving in, whether it be on 54 from the east or west, 32 from the south, or 82 from the north.  The rugged Ozarks hills transition into the Osage Plains.  I like a lot of the people, especially the older folks and more established families.  I like the busy business community and what’s available here.  I can tell that things haven’t changed as quickly since the 1970s and 80s as they have in other places.  I see more elements of the past here.  For me, this has been an enjoyable year and a half.

My wife hasn’t had the same experience.  This is her first time living outside of her parents’ house.  We’re about 65 miles or a 1 hour, 15 minute drive from their home in Mt. Vernon.  She finds the people here to be poor, slow, and backwards.  She had a tough experience teaching at the public school here, along with a difficult pregnancy.  She didn’t like the healthcare she was receiving in nearby Nevada, so we ended up making the 80 mile, 1 hour and 30 minute drives to Springfield through most of the pregnancy. We now go to Nixa for the pediatrician, nearly 90 miles away.  She misses being able to meet friends who live closer to the I-44 corridor.  She says they don’t want to come up here, since they’d rather meet down there where there’s more places to eat and shop.   She had to spend some time during her pregnancy teaching at the Nevada Head Start.  She is spending this school year teaching at the El Dorado Christian School.  She has a small number of students, so the pay is about half out what a public school teacher receives and it doesn’t help her with her state certification.  Just add that to her list of negatives.

She wants to move back to Mt. Vernon this summer and teach there.  I want to stay in El Dorado.  I say, maybe we can try Springfield someday.  She says she’s not raising Harper in Springfield, because it’s too big  and dangerous.  She’s not going to teach there either.  I keep hoping she’ll meet a great friend here that will make her want to stay.  Maybe something will come along here that will change her mind.  I keep hoping that maybe she’ll have a more positive outlook on El Dorado.  She’s basically making the decision and I feel stuck, like I have to go along with it or lose our marriage.  Will I be able to make the commute back to Shopko?  I don’t want to find a new job.  I like my job.  I don’t want to argue about this.  I’ve been told that she’s moving whether or not I want to.  Do I just keep my opinions to myself and go along with this?  This may be our biggest challenge of marriage to date!

Life happened

I haven’t made a post in over 2 1/2 years.  I’ve been busy.

• When the Mt. Vernon Pamida closed in August 2012, I transferred to the El Dorado Springs location which had recently reopened as Shopko Hometown.
• I then went to work for Orscheln Farm & Home as a management trainee in September 2012, where I trained in Republic, MO.
• I proposed to Abbigail Hubert in December 2012.  Our date consisted of driving to El Dorado Springs, shopping at Shopko, eating the El Dorado Mexican Restaurant, and watching Wreck it Ralph at the Opera House Theater.  My proposal appeared on the screen during the credits.  She said yes and we ended up going to the park across the street and sitting in the bandstand for an hour, just soaking up the moment.
• I was sent to work at an Orscheln location in Pacific, MO in March 2013 and was slated to become the manager there.  I stayed in a hotel for over a month.  Abby and I signed the lease on an apartment and I moved all of my belongings to Pacific, thinking I’d stay.
• Abby was struggling to get a teaching job in the St. Louis and Franklin County area, so she applied at El Dorado Springs and was hired.  I then called my my old boss at the El Dorado Springs Shopko.  I still had to go online and apply, but I was pretty much instantly hired back.
• On June 21, 2013 my grandfather, Lester Rodenberg, passed away at 94.
• On June 22, 2013 Abby and I were married on June 22, 2013 at Zion United Church of Christ, Mt. Vernon, MO.  It would have also been Grandpa and Grandma Rodenberg’s 67th anniversary.
• We spent a three or four days on our honeymoon in Rogers, Bentonville, and Eureka Springs, Arkansas, before going to Lexington, MO for my grandfather’s funeral.  After the funeral, we spent the evening and next day in El Dorado Springs in search of a home for rent.  The one we settled on, we had to wait until late in the day to look at.  I’m not sure what we would have done if the inside of this one had not been to our standards.
• On the first Saturday in July 2013, my best friend, Jay, and I moved my belongings to El Dorado Springs.  Abby had also already taken a few items to Pacific that I had to move, as well as a couch we already bought in Washington, MO.  By the time we got to El Dorado, she had most of her belongings unloaded from her parents’ house in Mt. Vernon, MO.
• I started work at Shopko the following Monday.
• Abby began teaching first grade in the El Dorado Springs R-2 Schools.
• It turns out that she was soon pregnant and very sick.  She wasn’t able to teach without leaving the classroom several times a day. The district worked out a deal so she could resign.  Unfortunately, that put a strain on our budget and put a stop to our plans to save for a home down payment.
• At nearly the same time, I was quickly promoted back to Assistant Manager at Shopko, a position I’d previously held at Pamida.  This time, I was salaried rather than hourly.
• Abby went to work for West Central Head Start in Nevada, MO until Harper was born.
• Harper Rose Rodenberg was born March 20, 2014 at Cox South, Springfield.
• Our store manager left at the beginning of June to return to his old location in Palmyra, MO.  I was acting manager through the summer and had applied for the job.  I nearly had the job, but a current manager from the Larned, KS Shopko Hometown applied for the position at the end of July or beginning of August.  I was told that I would have had the job, but they must choose someone who is currently a store manager over someone who isn’t.  She began work on September 2 and I’m still the Assistant Manager.
• Abby began teaching third grade at the El Dorado Christian School in August 2014.

What’s next?

Homelessness

This is a draft of a post I was going to make in June 2012.  I never wrapped it up, but thought I’d go ahead and share what I did write.

Growing up, I never encountered people who were homeless.  If I did, I never knew it.  Growing up in the Wellington-Napoleon school district, there was some economic differences between students but not a lot.  While my family’s income wasn’t a problem, my parents weren’t focused on their kids like many parents were.  At the time, I sometimes felt like the poor kid, even a loser.  My grandparents did help out to make things better than they otherwise would have been.  I did occasionally see poverty in neighboring Lexington, presumably because it was just a bit further from better jobs in the Kansas City metro area.  Also, to live around Wellington or Napoleon you had to have a good reason to be there, most likely family relations, inherited property, farming, or something related to the school.

Since being in southwest Missouri I have seen more poverty.  I think that it has historically been a part of the Ozark region.  While my hometown was surrounded by fertile land along the Missouri River, the land of the Ozarks is rocky and not as suitable for crop farming.  The Ozarks was isolated for a longer period of time, as they waited for the railroad while the Missouri River naturally flowed through my home of Lafayette County.

At the Pamida store in Mt. Vernon, I witness some of the problem.  Poor parenting.  Poorly dressed.  Obese.  Bad odors.  Poor decision making when making purchases.  Uneducated, or at least poor grammar and vocabulary.  I’ve set foot in filthy homes, beyond what I previously considered dirty, while delivering furniture or electronics.  I’ve recently learned of multiple families living in tents in Lawrence County.

In Springfield, Commercial Street is known as the gathering place for homeless people.  There are services and places for them to stay, which in the past caused conflict between the charities and the business community.  Today, Commercial Street, now dubbed C-Street, is seeing growth and revitalization.

 

Political Contributions

I’m an Obama supporter.  If you ask me, I’ll tell you that I’ll vote for Barack Obama in 2012, just as I did in 2008.  I want him to win. From the the first time I learned about Obama, I knew he was my president. I sent a small donation early in his campaign for the 2008 primaries.   Other than that, I haven’t donated.  It’s tempting though.  I want to ensure his election, and I’m afraid Mitt Romney will once again out fundraise Obama before the June deadline, after first raising more than Obama in May.  On the other hand, I’d much rather give money to the church, something I truly believe can change the world.  How can I give money to a political campaign, which ends up funneling money to media outlets that are largely a waste of  bandwidth and airwaves?  There’s people starving and homeless, people to be educated, and jobs to save.  Sure, political campaigns create marketing jobs.  They give interns something impressive for their resume.  They have their place.  It’s just not what I want to support, especially on my small salary.  I’ll give to my church, to PBS (KOZK  OPT-Ozarks Public Television), to NPR (KSMU), and to local, American, and international charities for the poor.  President Obama, I still wish you the best of luck.

Stay until the end?

January 4, it was announced that Pamida would be merged into Shopko.  The stores were to be converted to a new Shopko Hometown format, that had already been tested in some former Pamida locations as well as some new locations.  I was excited.  This was great news for the stores since they were sorely in need of a lot of changes.  Then on March 1 we received bad news, which wasn’t all that surprising.  The Mt. Vernon, Missouri Pamida, where I work, would not be converting and would close, along with five other locations.  It was sad, as I had truly wanted Pamida and the Mt. Vernon location to succeed, after I had seen my hometown Lexington location close several years earlier.  In May we learned that we’d be joined in closing by the California, Missouri store, which is sad to me because it had survived for years through Matco, Place’s and Pamida.  Our Mt. Vernon location had only opened in 2000 as Place’s, just months before it would close and reopen as Pamida during the same year, so it doesn’t have as lengthy a history.  We also learned the Red Oak, Iowa Pamida, which had previously planned to close, would be converted to Shopko.  It was also announced the Unionville, Missouri Pamida, which was previously scheduled to convert to Shopko and was already in the liquidation process, would permanently close since another company was interested in the building.

Mt. Vernon and California, along with four other stores in other states, began liquidation on May 20.  We are planned to be closed by August 11.  If I stay until that time, I will receive my severance package.  It’s decent because it appears to be based on the total time I spent working at Pamida, which is significantly longer than my latest stint since March 2011.

Last week I had three interviews with Big Lots for an assistant manager position at the north location on Kansas Expressway.  The first interview was with the store manager at the south location on Battlefield Road in Springfield.  He is the former manager of the north store.  His assistant from the north store has taken over as manager, so I went to the north store for another interview with him.  Two days later, I met the district manager at the north store for a third interview.  It went well and really sounded like I have the job once a background check is complete.  It’d be more money than I’ve ever made.  I called back this week and the manager is on vacation, so I’m waiting for him to return next week.

If I’m offered the job, will I take it?  I wanted to be at Pamida right up to to closing.  I may even have a gig where I get to keep the keys to the building for a couple years and let people in to look when necessary.  A woman who was once our Pamida district team leader in Missouri is now the Shopko district manager.  She said she’d like to stop in at Mt. Vernon and talk to me sometime during June when she’s driving between El Dorado Springs and Doniphan.  What if she has a better offer?  I’d love to follow these former Place’s stores in Missouri, some being former Matcos, up to the end. I could finish my degree online through Drury or another college.

On the other hand, the remaining Pamida/Shopko towns in Missouri, with the exceptions of Plattsburg and Palmyra, are more than an hour from a decent city.  Springfield has Drury where I’m finishing my degree in history, as well as other educational opportunities.  Pay in Springfield tends to be on the low side, but housing is also cheap.  My current living situation can’t be beat, as I’ve been able to pay for tuition, pay down debt, as well as maintain an emergency fund.

I wonder how my life ended up this way.  I never intended to be a retail manager.  Pamida was my high school job, turned college job, and now I have so much experience that I could have a career.  Becoming a teacher, historian, archivist, or minister almost seems as difficult as changing careers.  I started a career without intending to.  I truly have energy for the retail business, at least at Pamida.  I’d also probably enjoy the vocations mentioned above, bringing my energy with me, if I could only break down the barriers keeping me from them.

Back to the present, do I stay at Pamida until the end?

Difficulty Setting Goals

I’ve had a lot of trouble setting goals for my life. I think that much of my problem is that I have never known exactly how to reach what I wanted to do. I have not had access to a lot of good advice or resources.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted to be more involved. For some reason I often had difficulty becoming involved. I stayed with my grandparents a lot and I hated to ask for money or even for anyone to drive me. They had already sacrificed a lot of their resources and retirement for us grandkids. My parents were not low-income people but my dad’s alcoholism and lack of fiscal constraint was detrimental, leaving little money to spend on their children.

I did manage to have fairly good grades in high school and have some involvement, especially after I began to drive and got a part-time job. Then I faced the issue of college. What should I study? Where should I go? What were my career goals? This was all very overwhelming at the time.

Even when I finally arrived in college I never did know if I was going to be able to finish and be able to start a career. I had no financial support and it’s a miracle I’ve accomplished as much as I have. Sometimes I felt like it was all possible. My sister tends to be a very negative person, so life seems so impossible that I might as well give up after I talk to her. I’ve learned this, so I try to guard my thoughts when I talk to her and sometimes even avoid talking to her.

When I’m not working toward my goals or if they seem impossible, I begin to fall apart. I lose motivation, even for things that need to be completed in the near future. I feel better when my goals are kept in mind, I feel like I have a plan, and I’m working towards them. When I think that I’m going to seminary, I feel better.

Here I am. I’m 25, a senior, and a day student turned Continuing Studies student at Drury University. I’m knocking out my history degree and will worry about secondary education as soon as I can. I will eventually teach history whether it be at a high school, a community college, or even a university. I will eventually go to seminary, preferably Eden Seminary in St. Louis and become a pastor in the United Church of Christ. I’d like to give up Pamida / Shopko Hometown as soon as it is financially possible, even though I truly enjoy working there and believe in the role of the company.

Don’t let me forget this.

It’s time for an External Monitor

I’m determined to make my Acer TravelMate 2480 notebook last for a while longer. Sure, it may be old but it has become my own. The hard drive is larger and much faster than the original. I have installed the maximum amount of RAM the 2480 allows. I have a new keyboard ordered for it. I’ve been using the Ubuntu version of the Linux on for over 3 years now.
One thing that I believe would help my productivity would be a larger and brighter monitor. The 14.1 inch screen does not cut it. I find myself taking frequent breaks from reading, writing, and other work. Combined with an external keyboard and mouse, I believe my at-home experience with my old laptop could be significantly improved.
As for monitors, I’ll now proceed to find a reasonable deal and, knowing me, I must find the best deal. I’ve started with the 22 inch Dell P2210 as my baseline, since that is what I’ve enjoyed in the computer lab here at Drury University. Anyone with any suggestions should leave a comment.

Church during the Holidays

I know church attendance tends to increase around Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. For me, these are the most difficult times to go to church. During these times, I see people with their families who’ve returned to the old family church. I’m alone. People say, “Oh, I figured you’d go home.” I’ve even had people say, “I bet your mother misses you.” These people don’t mean any harm but it is like a punch of loneliness. Sometimes, it’s easier just to sleep in on these Sunday mornings, but then I feel like I’ve missed out on my favorite time of the week. This year, working a lot is my very legitimate excuse.

As a young person, who until this fall was in college, I’m expected to go home during the holidays. Things might be different if I was lived near home with my own family or if I had a girlfriend. I’d have someone with me. It might also be different if there were other young people at church.

I welcome comments from others with similar experiences.